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I know I post about Marco being gay and time is healing I am praying for grace and mercy... I am still not anywhere near what I need to be. This Saturday Nick had to work a home show so he was gone most of the day. I woke up at like 8:00 and Colleen called and asked me to go to breakfast with her so I did. I got up put the ole hat on, brushed my teeth, put my raggiest jeans I could find on and out the door I went. I looked horrible! I didn't care tho sometimes you just have to do it. After breakfast Sarah wanted to go return something at the mall. I picked her up and we were off. I noticed the night before that my deodorant was in the bathroom and I never use it in the bathroom. I always have it in my room. I didn't think anything of it I just thought that maybe Sarah used it. In the car I asked her if she used it and she said no... she said she did notice it on the counter tho along with my body spray. I was like what I didn't even notice the body spray????? I was really bothered by this because it is powder fresh scented deodorant which is weird for anyone other than a girl to wear. Right away I thought of Marco. I asked him when we got home if he used it and immediately said no. Someone used it and I am a little freaked out about it. See these are things that I am not used to yet. I was thinking fine if he wants that type of deodorant then I will buy it but how many moms ever think they will be sharing their deodorant with the boys? Not many LOL. These are the things I am trying to deal with. Sarah and I talked while we shopped and we are both bothered by it... not him... but it. So I was asking her if maybe she wanted to go to counseling for us and she said yes. I think I may just do that. Then I thought there has to be a support group somewhere around me that deals with things like this so I am checking into that. I NEED IT! I love my son with all my heart and I don't ever want him to feel anything other than loved and accepted. I need to work on me is all.

I am just ME!

I don't know how to write this without it sounding full of myself! I am so not full of myself at all. I am confident outwardly but no so confident on the inside. I just go with it for the most part. I recently go transferred to another store with alot more people working there. I am used to being a one woman show or two woman at the most in the office. This was a change for me to say the least. I have alot more people I am responsible for. Ya know we are our own best critics or should I say worst critics. I can look in the mirror at myself and see a 100 things that I hate. While my husband can look at me and think I am so HOT! I don't get that at all. I try to take care of myself for the most part but I am far from perfect. I look in the mirror and see FAT... he looks at me and says how skinny I am. Obviously, we have such different takes on me. The one thing that I am secure with is respecting myself and others. I try to teach by example in any place be it work or home. I guess you never know the impact you have on other people. I am a very likeable person because I am very outspoken , full of energy and fun. I love fashion, love my hair done and my nails done. I don't do this for anyone else but myself. It is ME! It is the things I enjoy in life. I like getting up in the morning thinking of what I am gonna wear that day. When I started at this store there is another lady in the office and she is about 6 or so years older than me. We are supposed to dress up for work. I am guilty sometimes of wearing nice jeans with a sweater but I normally dress up. The lady at work was wearing hoodies and I never said anything to her I would just show up each day dressed up. Without me saying a word she said one day "I gotta go shopping so I can look as nice as you do each day" I was shocked that she would even think that... like I said I am just ME! I don't even do it for that reason it is just what I like. I got to thinking about what she said and I have heard things before from my friends like: I do it just like you do or I want my hair just like yours. I still don't get it. I look at me and just see me. It just goes to show you... you never know what kind of impact you have on people. Just a little something I was thinking of today. Thought I would share.

I just found out yesterday that Nick and I are going to Vegas in May for a work convention for him. I am sooooo excited I have never been to Vegas so I keep walking around the house saying me, you and Vegas baby!!!! His reply to me is what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas LOL. I can't wait to go!

The weather here this week has been great almost hitting the 60's! Bring Spring on! I hope everyone enjoys their weekend.

God

I was watching the news this morning as I was getting ready for work and they did a special on the buses in Detroit. They are putting a new sign on the side of the bus that says "Don't believe in God--- your not alone". The newscaster went on to say that this was not intended to offend anyone but rather let people that don't believe in God know that they are not alone. Really??? I don't believe I have ever seen anything posted anywhere about believing in God. I guess this really does offend me! I would love to see something on the bus say "Believe in God --- your not alone". Enough on this cuz I really could go on and on. I believe in God and I feel everyone should believe is some higher power. How are we supposed to get thru life with out believing in something higher than us. For me I totally believe in God I feel Him working in me all the time! I love feeling His presence in me. I just don't understand how other people don't believe in anything. I think that after they have that one up for awhile then they need to put one that says the opposite for us God believers!

Marco has been doing great! He has been the happiest I have seen him in months and it is thru God's Grace that I am getting thru and understanding my son for who he is. I love who he is and always have it is just a different understanding for me now. I guess now that I look back I can see it. He has always been my goofy one. I am pretty goofy myself and hyper so he definitely takes after me. I love seeing me in him! He is just full of life and I want him to stay that way. He has the best personality and is loved by everyone. His friends are ok with him and I am so happy about that. I know the road ahead of him is not always gonna be the easiest but hey none of us have had it easy all the time.

Sarah just got done with cheer and turned her uniform in yesterday. She was sad but excited at the same time because now she has a few months off. She has the cutest little BF right now. He is so nice and they are so cute!

Dom is just working and going to school. Although lately he has been spending more time with me and I am loving that. I think next year he is gonna stay on campus tho because his sleeping habits are a bit much for me to handle. He is seriously up all night eating at like 2:00 in the morning then sleeping all day on the weekends. Doing laundry at 1:30 in the morning so maybe next year it is time for him to get his own pad as much as I don't want to see him go it may be time LOL.

I put some pictures up cuz it has been awhile. I don't have any clue where they are gonna end up on here but there is one of Me and my bestie Marsha, me Nick and Marco, Sarah and her BF and the whole gang that was over a few weeks ago for Snowcoming!