I love my kids with all my heart! I have always been that mom that always gets right into them. I guess you could say I am like a big kid. My dad was that way with us and I seemed to have carried the tradition on LOL. When Dom was in high school I seriously didn't have any problems with him other than him being mouthy every once in awhile. He went to school, got good grades, did his homework and never broke a curfew. I got lucky with him because the twins are different. Sarah gets good grades and pretty much does what she is supposed to do. The only problem I have with her is the girl issues... ya know when they can't have their own way! Marco on the other hand, this child is me thru and thru. He is alot more adventurous and daring than the other two. He has had a rough year and frankly so have I. It started in the beginning of the year with his phone getting taken away several times, then he got a D on his progress report, asked to go to counseling in December and found out he was gay a few months ago. It just seems one thing after another with him. Sunday night he came home from a bike ride and said he had to talk to me. We went into my bedroom and he started crying. I was like WTH is it now? He told me that he smoked pot a few months ago. I asked why are you telling me this now and why didn't you tell me when you did it? He said he was gonna but just couldn't do it. I went into the long conversation of how you never know what your getting and you could die from trying a drug once. I told him I needed to process this and for him to go to his room. In the meantime, Dom came home to tell me the same thing. That is why Marco told me because his brother found out and was gonna tell me. It is not the smoking pot that is so bothersome to me it is what may come after that. Is he gonna try something else and get addicted. I seriously worry about this child. He did tell me he hated the way it made him feel and would never do it again. I don't know that I necessarily believe that. I wanna believe it but I just don't know. I ended up taking his phone and his computer. I told him life as he knew it was over... it is now different because he broke the trust issue I had with him. I told him it would take a long time to build that trust again. I was looking at him last night sitting in the chair and I wanted to cry. The kid just wants to fit in and I totally understand that but this is not the way to fit it. He has a great personality but why can't he see that? Why can't he see he doesn't need drugs to fit in? He just wants to belong! I hope and pray he finds it within himself to belong without having to change who he is. I pray for him to get a better self confidence so that he doesn't feel so pressured by his peers. I aslo pray for me to be able to give him what he needs to succeed. I love him and will do whatever it takes to get him thru these ackward years.
