Vegas and anxiety

I have had anxiety issues my whole sometimes it is worse than others. The last few years it has been really bad I am not sure why. When Nick said we were going to Vegas for his work my anxiety went to an all-time high. The mere fact that I had never been there was the main factor. I am ok going somewhere if I have been there before but the unknown is when my anxiety goes out of control. I prayed and prayed for it to go away. I was mainly nervous because I have not flew in 15 years. I have flew quite a few times but not in a long time. As the day approached so did my anxiety and with each day it got worse. I was literally planning on the plane crashing. That is how bad it was! I kept telling myself your gonna be fine... but there is always that what if? I guess sometimes I could what if myself to death. We got to the airport and I seemed to be calmer that is until I heard our plane broke and it would be a 5 hour delay. I started to freak out thinking WTF are they gonna put us on a broken plane. I was sure we were gonna crash after hearing that. I started asking Nick if that is what their plan was to put us on a broken plane. He said Hunny I don't think so. We sat, waited and waited. Finally, I said to him lets go somewhere instead of sitting here and waiting. We left the airport to get something to eat and hang out until it was almost time for us to go. I was thrilled to be out of the airport for awhile. Then the time came again for us to go back and I could feel my heart racing. We boarded the plane and OMG I was so anxious I was grinding my teeth. The plane started to take off and I just kept telling myself it is gonna be fine! The truth is it was fine and I didn't relax the whole flight but it was fine. We had a great time in Vegas and I could kick myself in the ass for making myself miserable for weeks before this trip. How is it that now I can look back and see how stupid it was but at the time you just can't stop yourself? One of the girls we were traveling with took a Zanax and I was comtemplating taking one even tho I never have LOL. Vegas is beautiful but I don't know that I would go back again. Way too crowded and busy for me. I like to relax when I am gone on the beach somewhere. I didn't sleep more than 13 hours in 4 days. I was exhausted when I got home I slept like 14 hours straight and I am still not caught up on my sleep. I guess it will take days for that to happen.

I hope everyone is doing well and I wish everyone a Happy Mothers Day!