Time flies

I Iam sitting at home tonight going thru pictures for Dom's picture board for his party. OMG the kids have changed so much it just amazes me. Time just goes by so fast. I thought I would share a few old pictures of the kids. That one of Sarah with the pumpkin is of my old kitchen before we redid it. Can you say ewwwww with me that was nasty!

I miss these ages with the kids it seems as tho then we all did everything together and now everyone kinda does their own thing. In order to plan something with everyone you have to make plans a week ahead of time. Like tonight Nick and I are the only ones home because Dom is out to dinner with friends and the twins are at a pool party. It is nice but I miss them being little. We are just hanging out watching the hockey game. Go Red Wings.

I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!

My dad

Today is my dad's birthday he would have been 67. He passed away 5 years ago and sometimes it seems like forever since I have heard his voice or seen him. My dad was kindest most sincere man I have ever known. I was the youngest and I was supposed to be the boy LOL. I am obviously a woman. My dad wanted a boy so badly but he got me instead. I turned out to be his tomboy. I was the loudest and full of piss and vinegar. My sister was the quieter one. When I was young I always knew how to push my dads buttons because I was so stubborn and never gave in and he would cave and give in to me. When I thought that he may be mad at me I would always follow him around and ask are you mad at me dad and his reply would be what did you do? My mom and dad divorced when I was only 6. There was never any explanation of why he was leaving he just said he was going to stay with my grandma. She only lived 2 miles from us so we seen him alot. He would pick us up in his convertible and take us for rides. I would stand on the back seat and put my arms around him as he drove. I know that sounds crazy now but back then you could do that. My dad was always giving us lectures instead of spankings. I used to think that I would rather have a spanking because his lectures lasted for hours. They were always about your morals, integrity and telling the truth. He always told us if you told the truth you wouldn't get in as much trouble as you would if you didn't. He taught me how to drive when was 11 and by 15 I was a driving pro. He respected woman like no other man I had ever seen. I respected him so much for the person he was. I looked up to him for advice and cherished what he said. He just always seems to know exactly what to say to comfort me.

My dad had got sick right after Christmas it seemed like a cold. It went into January and you know men they hate to go to drs. He finally went they said he had walking pneomonia, gave him medicine and told him to come back in 2 weeks. He was not getting any better with the medicine. When he went back in 2 weeks they said they wanted to do a cat scan. I knew then that there was something seriously wrong. I just had that sick feeling in my stomach. The day he got the results from his cat scan I had come home from work and Dom said papa called and he sounded weird. I knew then! I didn't call him back because I didn't want to hear what he had to say because I knew it was bad. He called back a few hours later and said hunny I got my results today I said I know dad and then he started to cry. I had never heard my dad cry before. He told me it was lung cancer that had went into his liver and hip. At that point I was hysterical and kept saying dad what am I gonna do without you? He then started to comfort me. I said dad I am supposed to be comforting you. He then said the words I have carried with me since he died. Hunny I am always gonna be with you! The prognosis was 6 months. He passed away 3 weeks later. He was 6 ' 4" and always thin. In what seemed like a week he went down to 125 pounds. It was horrible for him and us. He was strong man and never wanted to be taken care of and at this point he could not even get out of the chair. I WAS DEVASTATED! I hated seeing him that way so his passing so soon after he got sick was kinda a blessing. It is exactly the way he wanted it. He did not want us to see him like that or take care of him. When he died I was at peace with HIM there weren't any bad feelings and there never was I was just not ready to let go. I had no choice but to learn to live my life without him and it sucked. I was very resentful towards everyone. I still think of him every day in some way. I am sad for my kids. I am sad that he is never gonna see his grandson graduate. He would of been so proud. My neice just got engaged and he is not here to be proud of her. I know he is proud in heaven tho. We all just miss him alot.

So I will leave you with a picture that I took of a picture because my pictures I have of him are all before I had a digital and I don't have a scanner. The quality is not good but it is my dad! I am sorry if this post seems so sketchy but it is hard to put into words everything that I want to say about my dad.

I get tired of thinking what to title these LOL

Today is the last day of school for Dom! I had a nice little talk with him last night about all his first days of school. I shared with him his first day of preschool where he screamed his head off when I left. He went in the afternoon so the next day he went he sat on the couch in his little barney underwear refusing to get dressed. I kept saying come on your going to school today and he said nope mama I don't want to. I packed up the twins who were only 1 in the double stroller and off we went after much convincing. We got to the school and again he screamed, I cried and was told by the teacher to just walk away. He did this for like a month. It was the hardest thing for me to do and I almost pulled him out but he finally liked going. Well, that is we talked after he told me of his disapproval of me painting his car LOL. I had fun doing it. I took pictures but have not downloaded them yet. He said mom don't tell me you didn't do it. I said oh I did it LOL. I put on his one window my mom loves me LOL. I guess everyone at the banquet thought it was hiliarious. Anyway, we had a nice little chat and kinda celebrated him last night. He was so attached to me when he was little and now it is hard to believe that because he is so not into me. It is ok I know he loves me. I guess it is the way it is supposed to be he is a man now. He was pretty excited this morning. I said as he walked out the door have a great last day of high school! He smiled :) I cried :( I will get thru this I know but ya know the period thing is coming up so I guess that may make me a little more emotional. ITS ALL ABOUT THE HORMONES BABY!

The twins have a bridge ceremony today at 12:00. You see they are the first freshman to go to the new 9th grade center. The schools are on the same campus actually right next to each other. This ceremony crosses them over to the big school. Marco was choosen to give a speech today at the ceremony. I am going to see it but I was told by Marco to stand where he can't see me LOL. He gets all nervous. I told him he would do great!!! He had a sore throat last night and a raspy voice this morning it was little bit better. So hopefully he will do great!

Sarah on the other hand is playing in the band today for the ceremony. She is so different from the boys. Such a little lady! She wore the cutest outfit today. It was a black long little dress, with grey leggings and these adorable sandals with heels.

My allergies are flaming today!!!!! It is beautiful out tho! Have a good day!

Cootie Bingo

Last night I met with the youth pastor of our church. It was a great meeting and I think good things are going to come from it. I am gonna be helping with the youth group in the fall and I am very excited about that.

I told you yesterday in my post my mom is hiliarious. I will now share the story of her bingo experience with the kids that go to school with my kids. My mom does not spare words she never did but since her stroke it is worse. I think she lost that filtering ability so when she thinks something it comes out. The kids had found out she was my kids grandma so of course they were automatically drawn to her. They were helping her play bingo and happened to ask her what she had for dinner. Now she calls the sausage things they serve there donkey dick. So yeah that is what she told them she had for dinner. The kids thought that was hiliarious! So she continued on saying some more inappropriate things and they continued to laugh. After bingo they were helping her back to her room. They were waiting for the elevator and some guy in a wheelchair was in front of her she was not being patient about the situation. She says to the kids move him the fuck out of my way I need to get to my room I gotta poop LOL. They all thought she was hiliarious and for the most part she is but not around teenagers LOL. One night I was visiting her and she was in the dining room with some ladies at her table. I said hi mom are you enjoying your visit with these ladies. She said are you kidding me they don't even know who the fuck they are let alone be able to talk to me. I said mom shhhh they can hear you. She said I don't give a shit! I just love her. I try not to laugh when she says these things but OMG you can't help it. She has a few friends she likes to visit with but she mostly cannot tolerate the other ones. I feel bad for the other people because they seriously sometimes don't have a clue who they are or where they are. Like one night I had a lady ask me if it was raining out because she had to walk home. I said no. She said good. Then she continued on about how she had to get home because her mom was at home. I was thinking in my head OMG if your mom is at home she has to be least 150 beause this lady was 90 or 100 or something like that. I kept telling her that she could stay the night there and she said no. Finally, I convinced her to stay that they had a bed for her and if she wanted she could try to make it home the next day. The whole while my mom was aggravated. Yes she gets aggravated when I talk to other residents because she wants my full attention which I understand but it is hard not to respond to them when they are asking you something or confused. Last night after my meeting I went to visit her because it was just down the road and OMG it was cootie bingo night. She was up and excited about cootie bingo. Before her stroke she loved bingo she used to go all the time. I wheeled her down for bingo 45 minutes early because she said it gets packed. She was right 10 minutes after we were there all the tables were full. She was excited to win money and I loved seeing her so excited about doing something. She is so damn cute! I sat with her and got everyone at her table arranged for bingo. You see they play with 5 playing cards and when they call your card you move it forward and win money. When all 5 cards are called you yell BINGO. The caller gets up to start calling and my mom yells new caller this guy sucks!!! I was like MOM??? Everyone started laughing. Bingo continued and she kept yelling shake those balls up...shake those balls up! She was having a blast! I love to see her happy in fact I had tears in my eyes because she does not get that excited or happy about much of anything so it was nice to see her that way. Nick sat in the hallway watching Seinfeld while we played. I was helping everyone around her to move their cards forward because most of them had not a clue what they were doing. It was nice. When I go and visit and help other people it always makes me feel good. I usually help feed people mostly but regardless it is nice helping them. They get a big smile on their face because they feel like someone does care. Believe it or not there are alot of people there that get no visitors EVER! I just don't understand that and I try to explain to my mom that is why I help them to put a smile on their face. She understands but she gets jealous.

Tomorrow is Dom's last day of school and I have a joke planned for him tonight. While he is in the band banquet I am going to paint his windows on his car LOL. Not only am I gonna paint them I am gonna put things on it like I LOVE JOHN MCCAIN!!! OR I SUPPORT THE REPUBLICAN PARTY!! Everytime I think of it ... it makes me laugh! He is such a liberal! When he goes to school tomorrow the kids will crack up because everyone in that school knows his political views LOL. It should be fun and yes I will take pictures for the blog LOL.

Well, I better get to work ughhh! I hope everyone has a great day!

Let the drama continue........

I told you of the situation with my sister. I know I keep bringing this up but it is my therapy and to help me forgive. The kids were at their dad's house this weekend. I told you about my sister wanting to call my X about the twins going to her wedding. Well, she did and as weird as it is he stuck up for me. I was shocked when the kids told me that. They said he sat them down and asked their side of the story. My sister told him she invited me but I am refusing to come and that my mom was coming too. LIAR!!!! So when my X sat them down they told him that these were lies. He was pissed and told her there is nothing he can do for her. I guess in his own way I feel that he stuck up for me by taking my side. I was happy about that! I took the kids tanning yesterday and I was sitting in the car waiting so I decided to text my youngest niece (she lives with my sister) and guess what I was blocked! I cannot call her or text her. I was upset but ok I understand. Then the kids got in the car and Marco said that my sister still keeps texting and calling him. I cannot block his phone because it is in my X's name and I don't want to go thru that BS. Anyway, I got home put on my walking shoes, took my phone and off I went. As I was walking I got more pissed because it is ok for her to protect her daughter (even tho I have never said word out of the way to her) but I can't mine. So I sent a text to her phone this is exactly what it said "you have blocked me from texting K so respect my wishes as a parent and don't call or text my kids". I continued on my walk and was glad I got that off my chest. I get a text back that says "don't text this number again or I will contact the police". I didn't text her back. Then I get a text from a police officer from her phone telling me to cut off any means of communications to them and the minor children!!!!!?????!!!!!! WTF! It had a number on there for me to call to confirm. I called and left a message for the officer to call me back which he did and it was real. I told the officer I sent 1 text and it was to ask her to stop texting my kids. The officer then told me that she had permission from my X to talk to the kids. I was like ok. Who am I to argue with a police officer. He told me if I didn't want her texting the kids that I needed to call the police in my area. Ok that isn't going to happen. I am not wasting a police officers time to come to my house to file a report. Can you believe the nerve of her tho. She wants (as always) her way. The rules only apply to everyone else not her. I know my X didn't tell her that because the kids told me that. I feel so sorry for my niece and my kids. This is such BULLSHIT! She spins her nasty little web around my son and it pisses me off. She texted him this morning "Hey buddy I hope you have a good day at school. I love you!!!" Give me a freggen break if she loved him she would not put him in the position she has. I told him to not respond to her at all. This is just insane!!!! I hate it!!!!

I have prayed again about it! I just feel mad on one hand and blessed on the other. I know that sounds stupid but I look at it this way maybe it took this to really realize the relationship that we don't have. I could never call the police on her. Our relationship has been that way our whole life. She always does the hurting and I always try to pick up the pieces. I am not picking up the pieces anymore. I am choosing to move on and forgive her because that is what is best for me. I feel blessed because I have such wonderful friends in my life. I have 3 best friends that are like sisters to me that I am so thankful for. I know that they are always there for me. I have 3 great kids and a wonderful husband who I adore. So for me it was just another life lesson that I needed to learn.

On the other hand today at work they did a commercial from my store. I know it is exciting news isn't it? LOL The director asked me if I wanted to do it and I said no of course. See I have to wear this stupid uniform. It is a button down oxford with our stores name on it with khaki or blue pants. UGHHHH! I hate them because no matter what size you get it is still a mans shirt and looks like crap. So I did not want to see myself on TV constantly with this shirt on LOL plus I probably would of froze in front of the camera.

I am meeting with the youth minister from our church tonight to see where I could fit in as a volunteer with the youth group. I am very excited about that. I love kids so this will be good for me and my kids because hopefully they will get involved then. They do alot with the kids. The kids do alot for the community. In fact, they went to my mom's nursing home and did bingo but OMG that is another story in itself LOL. My mom really made an impression on the kids that go to school with mine. The next day in school all these kids were coming up and telling my kids your grandma is sooooo cute! LOL I will share that story just not now. My mom is hiliarious!

So I am moving forgiving and moving forward! This blog is such good therapy for me I love it!

Holiday weekend

I can't ever line these pictures up right uggghhhhh!

The weekend is over but I am feeling like I need a day off to recooperate from it. After work Saturday I went home and relaxed, did some laundry and put my jammies on at like 6:00. I was done and going to fall asleep early. At 6:30 Colleen called and invited us to a BBQ at her friends so off we went. Another night of drinking! I had a great time again. It was kinda funny and weird all at the same time. See it was at Colleen's BF's brothers house. The brother has always had a thing for me. Well, Saturday night he was drinking quite a bit and he was just showing his love for me LOL. He is married and his wife just laughs. Actually Nick laughs too. He followed me into the house at one point and when I was in the bathroom he was knocking on the door. I was like freaking out so I heard his wife in the kitchen I opened the door and ran into the kitchen yelling "get your husband off me". LOL He wanted me to flash him my boobs and I was not having it LOL neither was Nick. We had a good time tho. It is a good thing Nick is not a jealous person. Sunday we went to a parade and then had a BBQ at our house with Scott and Colleen there was no drinking involved at all. I needed a day off. Monday we went to Sharyl's house for a graduation party and unfortunately there was drinking involved. It was a good weekend but tiring!

This is me and Marsha. She has been my friend for 30 years now. YIKES!

Here are some pictures from Friday night.

Crabby

I got home yesterday after working all day by myself and I was crabby to say the least. The minute I walked in the door Nick started about gum being on the garage floor. Marco started about how he wanted to go tanning Sarah also chimed in on wanting to go tanning. I did the only thing I know how to... I took Marco out to the garage because I know he was the one who spit his gum out there and made him clean it. I told Marco and Sarah I was not taking them tanning that everything was not always about them. I told Nick to be quiet. I said "I just want to sit here and be alone for a minute". Nick followed me out to the garage and said "what is wrong" ok that was a loaded question. Then it happened.... I went off on all of them! Saying how I worked all day alone and am tired is it too much to ask to get some alone time??? At that moment, my X pulled in the driveway to pick up the twins and he pulled on my grass like he always does. I came flying out of the garage and gave him the hands up in the air with the attitude head nod like WTF???? He threw is hands in the air and I said "is there a reason why you always pull on my grass" I didn't even give him a chance to answer me. I said "don't pull on my grass again or I will do the same at your house". Seriously, I know he does it to piss me off and normally I don't react but I was already pissy and tired of his tire marks in my grass DAMMIT! If he does it again I swear I will take my Chevelle over to his house pull in the driveway on his new cement and leave some nice black rubber marks on his driveway. He should love that! So, everyone was gone but Nick now. I went in the house to my room and was trying to find something to wear to change my attitude up a bit because we were going to meet some friends with the Chevelle for classic car night at this outdoor bar. I put on my hot pink t-shirt with lips on it, dark capri jeans, my hot pink flip flops and refreshed my hair. I came out to the garage where Nick was and said "are you ready". We got in the car and I looked over at him and said "I am trying to change my attitude for the night". We really did not say much the whole way there. Then all hell broke loose when we got there. I had 3 of my BFF's there and we started drinking. I HAD A BLAST!!!! The attitude was gone and I was off having myself a good time. This bar only plays country music, in fact, it kinda reminds me of Gillies that famous place in that one movie. They have a mechanical bull and all! I danced with my friends to some line dances that I am soooo not coordinated to do so I pretty much did my own thing LOL. Which was hilarious in itself! I had everyone cracking up. Laughter helps anything! I swear we laughed so hard and so much last night that my jaws hurt. I will have a few pictures to share I just have not downloaded them yet. My one friend Sharyl is single when Nick takes us out he his both of our husbands. This always makes for a nice conversation with people that don't know us. People always think the worst things and will ask the most inappropriate questions. We don't answer and let them think what they want LOL. On the way out of the bar Sharyl got the bright idead we should ride the mechanical bull. Nick was like "oh hell no". She was standing next to him and being totally serious saying "do you pinky promise swear that you will bring us back to ride it?" He said yes I will. I am a little afraid of it LOL. I guess one day we will go back and ride it but I will probably get thrown off and kill myself LOL. I am not that coordinated to such a thing but hey I will try anything once. I will post pictures later.

The weather is beautiful today and after work I think Nick and I are going fishing. I hope everyone enjoys the day!

Firsts and Lasts

I had this done and ready to post but I got a surprise visit from my director who was standing right behind me so I just hit the sign out button and lost it all LOL. That was how my morning started yesterday.

I have shared so many first things with Dom. First word, first step, first day of pre-school, first day of kindergarten etc... I find myself now sharing with him last HS band concert, awards night, football game etc... I have so many bittersweet feelings towards this. He was my only child for 3 years and I used to play with him like I was a kid. He was the sunshine in my life and still is. It is just different LOL. I am so proud of the man he has become but I am sad that he is pretty much an adult now. I know it is confusing to me too. Where did the years go? It seems like yesterday when I was teaching him the sound a dog makes. We have new firsts coming up that I am excited about and so is he. First day of college and hopefully his first job. I went to his awards night last night and he got 7 awards! I told him his neck is gonna be sore on commencement day because he has so many ropes and metals. He will walk across that stage on June 7th and I will sit in the audience and cry. My baby is a man! After he received his last award I was looking all over for him to take pictures and I couldn't find him. I called him and said where are you? He told me "Oh I left and am on my way to dinner with my friends". I was like ok. This is why I am sad because I am no longer the main person in his life :( It is ok is the natural thing for him to do it is just I am struggling with it. I know he loves me. When he got home last night I was lying on the bed watching TV he came in the room and said "mom tomorrow on Facebook I am gonna write a letter to you because without you I could not achieve these" (he was holding up his awards and ropes). I flew up off the bed and gave him a huge hug and said thank you for acknowledging that. I have checked Facebook like 30 times this morning but he is probably not even up yet LOL. On another note, sitting in those awards last night when he walked on stage and the whole auditorium was quiet I swear I wanted to get up and yell something to the tune of "OMG OMG THAT IS MY CHILD" LOL. I contained myself tho and didn't because he would be moritified LOL. I just wonder what the response would be from all the other people tho. I am sure they would laugh because they are probably thinking the same thing about their child.

So the sister thing I am not sure if I mentioned it or not but she did call my X husband and asked his permission for my twins to go to her wedding. Can you even believe that???? She never got along with him at all and he didn't like her either. I wonder what that conversation was like LOL. I am still working on my forgiveness and it is getting better with each day that passes.

The weather here is beautiful. Tonight we are going to a classic car night at an outdoor patio tiki bar. It should be fun! I love my Chevelle! I will have to get some pictures tonight of it to show you. It is loud, fast and I love it! I have mastered how to do a doughnut in it! It will be fun but I can't drink too much because I have to work tomorrow.

I hope everyone has a good holiday weekend!

Forgiveness

I have been struggling with what forgiveness really means. I was gonna talk to the pastor on Sunday about it but I didn't. I ended up talking to my Aunt last night on the phone for like 2 hours. She is very Christian and I just asked her what her thoughts were on what true forgiveness means. As I was struggling with forgiveness I wondered if it meant to continue to have that person in your life even if they treat you poorly. My aunt said no... that is not forgiveness. I listened as you talked and all of a sudden a light bulb went on in my head. She told me that I can forgive my sister but I never have to tell her that. That forgiveness is letting go of the anger and hurt so that your peaceful. It also means that I can choose not to be exposed to abusive behavior. I explained to my aunt that I am trying to do that but every time I turn around there is someone saying something about what she has said. So I think no contact with anyone in my family and her is the best way for me to get past this. After I hung up with her I felt alot better. She also had a quote for me "being a Christian does not mean your a doormat". That is a great quote because I am always trying to do the right things and sometimes I sacrifice my feelings. So I am learning little by little to let go of the anger that I have for her in hopes that sometime I will forgive her. I don't know what the future holds for us but that is up to God! I just know that the peacefulness I feel today I want to hang on to. It is much better than anger.
Moving on and healing is my motto.

It is gorgeous out today! I hope everyone enjoys their day!

weekend

I come here today with so much on my mind. Friday I turned the negative around and looked at the bright side of things with Nick's job. I have to tell you tho the weekend was so much drama that I can't stand it. My back has been killing me and my chiropractor is out of town until Wednesday. Saturday was an ugly morning so we decided to go to garage sales. Colleen, Scott, Nick, me and Marco. It was alot of fun. I got a few goodies for cheap. Marco changed my mood real fast when he told me that my sister texted him to tell him she is sending him and Sarah a bus ticket to come to her wedding. I was thinking in my head that is not happening. So what makes me the most angry is Marco gets mad at me and tells me I am being stupid about the situation. I have to listen to him complain how I am mean and won't let him go to his own aunt's wedding. I was trying to explain to him that I will not let my twins (15) get on a bus and go 3 hours away to a wedding. I don't trust her soon to be husband and I am not doing it. Besides the fact, I am not invited so I just don't think any of us should go. I texted her to tell her that they would not be coming and her response to me was I will call their dad and get his permission. I just don't understand any of this. She can't call me and talk to me like an adult but she can talk thru my kids. It just makes no sense. After I texted her that she was pretty much done talking to me. Sunday morning we got up and went to church, to lunch and then to visit my mom. Lately, I love going there and talking with all the older ladies. I help feed some of them and I enjoy it so much. It puts such a smile on their face to know someone is helping them. I just enjoy it!!!! As I was sitting there feeding Gerti and talking with my mom, my mom says Kim called me today and said your not invited to her wedding. I said yes mom I am not. She said you think she is bi-polar, I said mom I do think that. The point of this is my mom does not need to know any of this. She will sit and worry about it. She does not need that. As I have said before, I have alot of bad feelings towards my sister because she does not truly care about my mom. This behavior just reinforces the way I feel. I told my mom just don't pay attention to what she says because I don't want you sitting and worrying about it. Not to mention, my mom isn't even going to the wedding because my sister never took the time to arrange for her to be there. She just said it is too long of a drive. I would of made sure my mom would of been there if she would of taken the time to plan anything. It would of been hard but I could of pulled it off. Anyway, I get home and Dom says to me Aunt Kim texted me and wants to know if I have a graduation ticket for her. I was like OMG are you kidding me???? Dom said he does not want her there because she screwed him over too. She told him she wanted his quartet to play at her wedding so they went out and bought music, planned on going and then she said oh I hired a DJ. His feelings were hurt. I understand but there is nothing I can do. Then Marco says Aunt Kim texted me and I told her nobody was coming to her wedding if you weren't invited which is exactly what my uncles said. I lost it!!!! I said Marco why do you tell her stuff like that your just fueling the fire. Again, he is only 15 so why should he be involved in adult drama. I texted her told her to stop with the texts to my kids. They don't need this crap going on with them. Of course, her boyfriend had to text Marco and ask him how his day was going. I grabbed Marco's phone deleted both of their phone numbers and told him I don't want you to text them at all. I got out the laptop and made him delete them off of his Facebook and Myspace. I have just had enough I am done with this. Right or wrong I did what I felt I had to do. Not that I feel good about it because I don't.

This is the part I struggle with I am a Christian. I know God always forgives us for our sins. I know that we are supposed to be the same way with people in our life but does that mean we are supposed to keep letting them do this to us? That is the part I struggle with. I have prayed alot about this for some direction. I am trying to forgive her and in time I know I will. I still love her and always will but I just can't have this in my life. I feel like it is poison and it is disrupting to our house. Last night for the first time ever Nick grabbed my hands and prayed with me. It was amazing!!! I have been wanting to do that with him and it just happened. A new step in his faith. I loved it!!!!

I am sorry to be such a downer lately but this is what my blog is for to help me make sense of things once I see them in writing.

I hope everyone has a good Monday!

Keeping the faith!

Nick called me a little bit ago to tell me they have yet to cut another thing from his pay. I am so disgusted! I did not react very well when he called. In fact, I apologized for my reaction. It just seems that you work your ass off lately and your pay keeps going down. All the while your expenses are the same. I drove home to make my lunch and thought about my reaction and I was not happy with myself. I guess I have been holding these feelings in because they came spewing out like nobody's business LOL. I feel better now I guess it just took a few for it to sink in. I called him and said sorry I was looking at it as the glass is half empty. I need to look at it as if the glass is half full. I am ok with it now just took a little time. Like I said yesterday I just wonder when this economy is gonna get better. Right now your employer can tell you they are cutting anything out of your pay and you have to be happy with because there are no other jobs to go to.

My friend has been unemployed for a year and a half! She is a single mom with 3 teenage boys. Her dad is paying her bills for her which is a huge relief.

I will just keep praying afterall God has control over everything!

Have a good weekend!

A posting fool lately

I am sure everyone is aware of the car company's situation. Here in Michigan it is really tough right now because most of the people I know are in the car industry. My work thrives on the dealerships. They are most of our auto work. So the news of them closing alot of dealers was a bit unsettling to say the least. We found out today that the dealers we work with are staying open. Unfortunately, the one my BIL works at is closing and another one that my cousin works at is closing. The dealerships here employ anywhere from 200 - 300 employees. That stinks! More people out of work in Michigan. I just wonder when and if Michigan will ever make a come back. I am sure it will it is just gonna take alot of time.

That was just on my mind today LOL. I had to share.

Pictures

Since I can never get all my pictures right and the words where I want them I decided to explain in another post. The first 2 pictures are all the kids, the 3rd one is me, Dom and Danny, then Nick, Dom and Danny, Colleen with Dom and Danny, Dom and his date, the me and Dom the last one I put on there because that is the face I get when I want to take his picture. It is like Mom do you have too and when he does he gets a little angry.

This last one is me after everyone left I was exhausted!

I got my laptop back

Feelings

I love my nieces like they were my own. When they were little me and my sister stayed home with them. We were together alot. The kids grew up very close. My oldest niece M (will call her that). My sister had her in 1986 and I was not married and I did everything with her. I would pick her up every Friday night, we would go to dinner, shopping and then she would come spend the night with me at my apartment. I would take her home Saturday morning after breakfast. She was my buddy. As she got older, I got married and had kids nothing changed. She would call me every day just to see how my day was. I adored her. When my sister had her middle one T I got pregnant with Dom 3 months later. I did things with her but not near as much as I did with M. I was still close with her but more or so as she got older. My sister and I were pregnant at the same time me with my twins and her with her last K. They were born only 5 weeks apart K being the born first. I felt so dang guilty because the last thing I wanted to do when I went to her house was hold a baby LOL. I had 2 myself and a 2 1/2 year old. Nonetheless, I was close to K too. Sarah and K have been close since birth. M on the other hand, was so attached to me that every time we were all together she would cry if she could not come home with me. She did this until she was like 16. I always felt guilty because I didn't want to take one without taking all of them. So there were alot of times I sported around with 6 kids. That was hiliarious because if I took them out to eat everyone would see me come in with all these kids and give me a look like don't you dare sit by me. I would give them all the talk before we got out about behaving in whereever we were at. They were all pretty good and if anyone acted up it was usually my boys LOL. You know boys! It was fun I loved it. I used to talk to my sister on the phone almost every night for like 3 hours. We would always wonder what they would all be like when they got older. We would talk about when they get married and all that good stuff. As I have told you before I don't know what alien has come and taken my sister but I want her back. She is so different now even to her kids. Her girls are 22, 19 and 15 now. The only one living with her is K. Which because my sister has an attitude towards me now I don't get to see K much. The only time I get to see her is when her dad brings her over. My sister has a fit over that because I should not like him anymore because they are divorced. I say BlAH to that. Yesterday at work my cell rang and it showed up as K. I picked it up and said "oh my oh my your calling me". On the other end I hear a hysterical K. My sister is out of town and she is home with the wonderful (sarcasm) soon to be step-dad. I was like "OMG are you ok" she was sobbing like a baby. She said "Aunt Kelly Don (step-dad) won't stop texting my phone and I got in trouble at school now at soccer I asked him to stop and he won't". I said "K what is it you want me to do?". She said "can you call him and tell him to stop my coach is mad at me". So I said "ok give me his number and I will text him". So I texted him and asked nicely could you stop texting K she got in trouble. His response to me was mind your own business. I said when my niece calls me hysterical it is my business. Then he started with all the texts telling me how I am overstepping my bounds and he can text her phone whenever because he pays the bill. So I just ignored him. Told him to have a nice evening. I texted K back to tell her if she needed anything I would be here for her. They live 3 hours away but I swear if I had to I would drive out there and get her LOL. My sister won't be home till Thursday. I was so upset at the way he treated me. I got home and pretty much went about my business and about 8:30 last night my sister texted me telling me to mind my own business. WTH? I just don't get how we can go from being so close to this. For the most part, I have learned to accept it but it still bothers me. I mean she has pretty much shun her kids and family for this asshole she is marrying in July. Yes can you believe she is marrying him in July. Get this to, I am not invited to the wedding because she only wants people there that love her and support her. Although, she wants Marco to walk her down the isle. I was Hell no that isn't happening. She told Marco that T can pick him up on the way to the wedding. I mean doesn't that sound insane. I have prayed for peace with this situation and I have peace about it until something like yesterday happens and it brings all those feelings back. I am sad for my nieces too and my mom. She does nothing with my mom EVER! I did Dom's invitations last night and I didn't even send her one because I don't have her address and I just don't want a fight or anything at my son's party. She is Dom's Godmother. How sad is that? I did, however, invite my brother in law. The situation is just so screwed up and out of hand. I tried to make it better with her but she just thinks I am out to get her. Not sure why. It just makes me sad. Her boyfriend is a complete moron. She does not see it, although, everyone else does.

Anyway, getting back to M. She has been in California for a week and has called me every day she has been gone. It makes my heart smile! She called me yesterday and told me her and her BF were getting really dressed up and going to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was like oh have fun! She called me this morning to tell me that he proposed to her last night. I was sooooo excited for her. They are like the cutest couple ever! They are perfect for each other. I just wish I could call my sister and share but I can't. That is bittersweet to me. It is the way it is though. They are planning on a fall wedding in 2010.

My girls T on the left M in the middle and K on the right.

Sarah kissing K! One day I will get these pictures right where I want them LOL. Just not today!

Mother's Day

I had a wonderful Mother's Day! I got up with Nick saying Happy Mother's Day. We all went to church together, even Dom. See I go to a Christian church and he is very Catholic. I raised him that way then had a change of mind LOL. He is the choir director at his Catholic church. I told him all I wanted for Mother's Day was for him to come to church with me at my church. He did but was nervous saying he was going to Hell for going there. I assured him that he would not. It was funny we all got in the truck and he was equipped with his Bible, Rosary and the Catholic Bible Study Guide. I was thankful that he came but really didn't realize how uncomfortable he was. Service was inspiring of course it was all about moms. The service went out the topic of how us as moms are selfless for the most part. That quality being a God Like quality. It was very touching. We went out to lunch after. It was so nice for me because Dom usually does his own thing. We were all together! After lunch we went to visit my mom. She is so damn cute. She got new glasses and was so excited to read the card by herself. We visited with her for a few hours. On the way home we stopped at my Uncles house and visited for a little while. Then we went him for Nick to make me my favorite dinner. I had mashed potatoes, brocilli (spelling?), rolls and BBQ ribs. OMG I could not stop eating. It was great! I got a coach purse and channel sunglasses. The best part of the day was us all of us being together. I also demanded a foot massage from the kids LOL.

The downfall of yesterday was ya know that monthly thing that is supposed to come once a month unless you are over 40 then it comes whenever it wants to like ummm every 18 days. WTH is all I have to say about that. I want the 28 day cycle back LOL. I couldn't figure out why Saturday night my stomach hurt. Well, I found out yesterday why.

Dom and his friends. The next one is Dom and his date. The next one is Dom and the Prom Queen.

I got a few pictures of my Prom King. I took them off of his facebook LOL. I still don't have my laptop back.

Prom King!

I had so much with the kids yesterday before prom. They all looked so good! I enjoyed the parents company too. We had a photo session that lasted about an hour and a half. The kids were getting really tired of it. I went in after to download my pictures but totally forgot that Nick took our laptop to work so his friend could work on it. I couldn't download them :( I have no pictures to share today but you can be sure they are coming and alot of them LOL. After everyone left Colleen and I had a few drinks and both decided we were not going to the prom. Dom's friend promised she would video it with her camera. I sat and waited patienly for Dom to text me to let me know. At 9:45 he told me he won. I was so excited for him. Remember I told you he was not that excited about it. Well, when he came home he had on the little sashy thing and his prom king crown/hat. I took pictures and he just sat there and said "mom I have had a great senior year". I said yes you have! I am so proud of the man he has become. I get teary eyed just typing that. I have to let go of him more and more each day. After he came home and changed he was going to a party and asked me what time he had to be home. I said Dom you use your discretion and had the big talk with him about drinking and driving. His friend Danny was spending the night too so I kinda lectured both of them. I said if you need a ride call me. I also told them that didn't mean that I was telling them they could drink. I was just telling them that I know things happen. They left at about 11:30. I.did.not.sleep! I was up and down all night. Finally when I got up at 3:30 they were still not home. I fell asleep after that tho. I got up this morning and they were out in the living one on each couch LOL. I was so happy! It is so hard to let go of them but you have to. He is 18 1/2. He didn't go to Kindergarten until he was almost 6. So it is time I just have a hard time with it. Nick had a talk with him about you know condoms to make sure he had some. I was like WTH???? Seriously, tho I know that he probably already has done the act it is just hard as a mom to even talk about it. Even tho I have talked surfacely to him about condoms it has never been like too specific! When they left to go to the party he put his crown/hat back on and the sashy thing LOL. I know he was proud!!!! I guess it wasn't that stupid after all LOL. He is graduating June 7th I am just in shock and emotional about the whole thing. He keeps asking me if I am gonna cry and I keep telling him yes. I called my mom last night to let her know he won and she was so excited she cried! Like I said, I know she misses these things with the kids.

Enough with the emotional stuff. Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I am excited to spend the day with my mom, Nick and the kids. We aren't going to my MIL'S because she has a baptism to go to. Isn't that stupid on Mother's Day. I sure hope everyone has a wonderful Mother's Day!

Prom!

I cannot tell you how excited I am about prom tonight. I have all the parents coming over at 5:00 for pictures and then the limo come at 6:15 to pick them up. I love this kinda stuff! It is exciting to me like to the point where I act like it is me going. I just cannot contain myself LOL. Maybe that is why Dom gets embarrassed. Even so I still can't help it. It is just me! I hope he makes prom king. I still have not figured out my game plan for that. Colleen and I have to decided if we want to go up there and hide LOL.

Marco won for class secretary! He was pretty excited. He texted me this morning at 7:10 and said "say hello to the sophmore class secretary" LOL.

I am not gonna get all mushy but I do have to say I miss my mom running around the house at times like this. She got all excited just the way I do so no wonder where I got it from LOL. She would always make sure everything was perfect. I know it kills her just as much as me to not be able to do the things she used to do. I still have her here tho :) It is just these times come with bittersweet feelings.

So everyone have a great Friday! I will have lots of pictures to share.

Funny

I got up this morning and did my usual thing. Took a shower, washed my face, brushed my teeth and put my contacts in. Well, so I thought I put both contacts in. In fact, I know I did. I walked into the bedroom because the left one was bothering me so I kept moving it around. Finished getting ready for work and off I went. I got to work and was looking at my computer screen and it was all blurry. I got up went to the mirror and there was no contact in my left eye. I hurried up and called home to see if Nick was still there for him to bring me a contact. He was home and brought it to me. Now I m wondering if I should put it in LOL. I know I put one in this morning so I don't want to put 2 in. I don't know if the other is floating around in there or not. I have never had this happen before LOL. So on my lunch I am gonna run to Lenscrafters they are pretty much right next door to see if there is one in there. It is just weird LOL.

I went and got my hair fixed last night by the owner of the salon and she did a great job! I am so much happier with it and she would not even let me tip her.

Graduation is coming way too fast. I sat last night and did most of the invitations. Prom is tomorrow night. I called the school to find out when they announce the king and they said at the Prom at about 9:30. Dom does not want me to come but I want to be there to see the results and get pictures. I am thinking of getting my camo stuff on and doing a sneak attack LOL. I really don't know if I should tho. I don't want to embarrass him or piss him off but come on I am mom LOL. Marco will find out tomorrow if he won for class secretary. Just so much going on.

Is anyone freaking out about the swine flu? We have like 10 confirmed cases in Michigan. A few of them are within 10 miles from my house. I am trying to not worry about it.

I will leave you with some birthday pictures.

Blah LOL

I get sick of trying to think of a title for each post. I have so many things going on in my mind it is hard to just say one.

I will start today with the fact that I went to get my hair done last Tuesday. I am so no happy with it. I got highlights and a cut. I have been going to this girl for about a year and a half. The last 2 times I really have not been happy with my hair. This time tho OMG I am so not happy with it at all. The highlights are like spaced out so much that at the top of my head I have a big thing of dark roots. I mean I understand it is highlights but come on. Then the ones that you can see are like 3/4 of an inch from my head. WTF???? Then I got this side thing hanging that does not even look like it is supposed to be there. The one side does not blend with the back. I am just pissed! So I hate being a complainer. I didn't want to call and complain. I certainly don't want her to do it again. Because lets face it I have not been happy the last 2 times. I called today at the shop and the owner will be there until 4:00 so I have to go show her my hair. Is that being bitchy? I always feel like I am being a bitch when I am not happy with something. I know I shouldn't because it is a service and I paid for it so I should be happy. I am going to slide on over there at lunch to let the owner look at it. I asked Colleen the other night what she thought about it and she said she seen exactly what I was talking about. We will see what the owner says.

For the last 2 nights Colleen and I have been walking the track at the high school. It makes me extremely hyper. So last night the kids were at their dad's house. I came home and Nick had made dinner we ate. I have been trying to get Dom's invitations out for his graduation so I was doing that. Of course, calling a few people for their addresses. Naturally, you can't just say "hey give your address" and hang up. I got a little carried away with talking LOL. All of a sudden it was 8:00 and Idol time. We watched Idol and I said can you rub my back. He did and right after Idol I fell asleep. It was supposed to be our night. So he is a little disappointed today. I feel bad but damn I go and go and then just fall asleep LOL. Cut a girl some slack!

I have a question for everyone. I am gonna admit something on here that I have never done before because frankly I am embarrassed of it. I SMOKE! There I said it. We don't smoke in the house. So we have a TV in the garage and little table and chairs set up. My kids are totally embarrassed of this. We sit out there and watch TV and smoke LOL I mean not all night long but for a little while after dinner. Is that a redneck hillbilly thing? LOL That is what my kids say. I told Nick last night as we were sitting in the smoking lounge we could close the garage door a little bit so nobody can see the TV LMAO. He said "no". So give me your thoughts.

Have a great day!

Differences

I have to blog about the differences in my kids. Sometimes I can't even believe it myself. I mean they were raised in the same house buy oh my they are different.

First we have Sarah. As a baby she was totally a daddy's girl. She did not like me and it used to upset me to the point that I would cry sometimes. In fact, when she was 3 (and we were still married) I always gave her a bath, put lotion on her and did her hair. I was getting her out of the tub one night and she looked at me square in the eye and said "do you know I love daddy better than you?" I was so upset. Of course, he thought it was funny. I didn't! The reason she loved him more was because he always gave her - her way. She was not a cuddly baby either not even with her daddy. As time went on after the divorce she has totally become a momma's girl. She is very close to me now and for that I am thankful! She is a little more on the shy side when it comes to people she don't know. After she knows you she is really pretty funny. She always wants to be the best at whatever she does and strives for perfection.

Then we have Marco. Marco was the perfect baby. He never cried and pretty much went to sleep when you put him to bed. He got to be around 2 1/2 and whoa he came out of his shell. He got into everything and was very mischieveous. If he was quiet you had to look for him because I guarantee you he is taking apart something LOL. He is spiteful too! Always a momma' boy and still is. Marco really works hard to get good grades. He has to work harder than Dom or Sarah. He has a huge heart and is very loving. Oh but he is Mr. Funny. The kid will make you laugh until you cry.

Now Dom. Dom was a perfect baby too. My first born. Has a great personality. I read to him constantly. He was so smart and did everything early. Walked at 9 months and was talking full sentences by the time he was 1 1/2. He is funny and loving. Since he was my first, we were very close because I didn't work and he was the sunshine in my life. I played with him like I was a kid myself. He was kinda both a daddy's boy and momma's boy. He was full of energy. I swear that kid could climb anything. If I told him no he still did it. Just very headstrong.

The reason I am sharing this with you is because last night we sat around the kitchen table and put stickers on mardi gra beads for Marco to take to school today for the elections. Dom ran every year in high school and won but the difference is I never helped him because he would not allow me to. Marco will take the help but does not want me around at school for anything. Last night I dropped him off at the school for practice and Colleen and I were gonna walk the track at the school. Marco was pissed he was like "mom you can't do that". Marco yes I can and we are going to. We did but he was so embarrassed. Now my Sarah the one who did not like me LOL she always wants me at school with her. She will come running up to me "hi mommy". She is the only one that calls me mommy. So it sure has changed! It is just so funny to me.

Dom was kinda teasing Marco last night about his beads. I took him aside and said don't you tease him he is trying his best to be like you. Dom rolled his eyes and said OMG mom stop it. Boys are so funny with their emotions. Dom acts like he can't stand Marco but when Marco is hurt he is the first one there. Marco is the same way with Dom. It is always so competitive with boys. Sarah has nobody to compete with so she is just herself LOL.

Last night Dom's friend Danny came over and had dinner with us. The two of them are always together constantly. Danny is going away to school at Western and Dom is staying home. So I asked them last night what are you guys gonna do without each other. You know boys LOL. They were like oh we won't miss each other. LOL They went out last night and did some saran wrapping on the cars of the people that did it to Dom. I was laughing.

I hope everyone has a good day today!

Update

I was trying to finish my post last night and my laptop just booted me off! I am so frustrated with it right now and I am being too cheap to take it in. I guess I am gonna have to tho because the problem is getting worse.

R got out of jail yesterday and her mom picked her up. On Saturday when I talked to her mom she said there is no choice for her she is going to rehab on Monday. Is she there right now? No! She called to ask if she could borrow my car to get some stuff from her apartment. I was like no! I am so done with the situation. Her mom wonders why she is the way she is. Well, because you keep catering to her so she does not have to grow up and take responsibility for her actions. I told Nick today I am done with the whole situation until she checks herself into a rehab center. I will not let my kids keep hearing this crap and seeing it. It is not good for anyone involved except R because she keeps getting what she wants. So that is where I stand with that LOL. I am stubborn when it comes to this crap.

In other news ... I have a pimple on the top part of my lip. I had one last week on my nose. WTF is up with that. Am I going thru puberty again LOL.

Nick and I have decided to take a business journey together. I can't share alot of the details because I don't want to talk about it and jinx it. Ya know don't count your chickens until they hatch saying. I am excited about it and hope it all works out. Only time will tell. I have been praying about it and if it is right it will all fall into place.

The elections at school are tomorrow and Marco is running for Secretary of his class. I am excited for him and tonight we have to go out and get beads for him to hand out tomorrow. I hope he wins. Dom has been the secretary every year since he was in high school so I am hoping Marco will be too. Sarah is a little too quiet for these type of things LOL. She is a little more reserved. Not my boys tho! I guess they get that from me LOL.

Have a great Monday!

Practical jokes

With Dom being in student government in school and football we often get our house toilet papered in the fall. Like at least 6 times during football season. I don't mind it is innocent fun. There were a few times they got us good and it rained before morning so it was a pain to clean up. I still don't mind because I am not the one that cleans it LOL. Two years ago they toilet papered our deck instead of the front because we had our Halloween decorations out. Nick and I were sleeping on the couch with the blinds open. The next day at school the kids told Dom we were watching your parents sleep on the couch and made faces at them LOL. We never heard a thing! I thought that was pretty funny. Dom got home last night about 9:30 and we were sitting around watching TV. When the weather is nice I always leave the front door open. I shut the door at like 10:15. At 10:30 my doorbell was ringing I was WTH who can that be? I went and looked out the sidelight and it was my neighbor. I opened the door and she said what happened to Dom's car? I said nothing why? I looked at it and it had saran wrap all over it. They got his car good! I am not sure the reason for it this time of year. Who knows maybe just because graduation is around the corner. I found out today that he made Prom Court. I was very excited for him but he says it is stupid LOL. I think that is a cover up because he really likes it inside LOL. Here is a picture of his car.

Alot of things to say

First of all I have been trying to get on the internet since yesterday. My laptop was screwed up so Nick was trying to fix it but couldn't. About a half hour ago Marco's friend was here and fixed it within like 30 minutes. I was so happy! I was going thru internet withdrawls.

Nick went for his colonoscopy Friday and it was a piece of cake. He was nervous and so was I but he was out within 20 minutes. I barely sat down and they were calling me back. He did great! They did find 3 polyps and removed them. The dr said to call him office in a week and see the results but he didn't think they were anything.

Marco's bloodwork and urine all came back good! I was very happy about that. I guess it was just a fluke thing.

Remember me telling you about my step daughter and the dr visit. Well, Nick and I woke up this morning just laying in bed watching the news. The house phone rang and Nick answered it. He started talking and I heard him say "so she is in jail". I was like WTH??? Who is in jail??? He handed me the phone and it was his X. Apparently, my step daughter (R is what I will call her) got into a huge fight with her roomate (which is a guy) and called the police so the police ended up taking her to jail for domestic violence. I guess she thought they were going to take him but they took her. She ransacked the apartment, broke all the pictures and punched holes in the wall. I knew she was on anti-depressant's but I guess she was drinking too. Your not supposed to drink with the medicines she is on. Her mom went on to tell me that she has been abusing prescription drugs for 3 years now. Here I was afraid to say anything about what I thought in fear of hurting someone's feelings. It was true! She is still in jail from last night and will be there all weekend. Her mom is taking her to rehab right when she gets out. I sure hope it works. I just can't believe the stuff her mom was telling me. Like I said before it is always drama with her. She is 32 years old and need to get it together and act like it.

We went and seen my mom today, did some shopping and that was about it. A pretty boring weekend. I am watching NASCAR now and relaxing.

I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!