weekend

I come here today with so much on my mind. Friday I turned the negative around and looked at the bright side of things with Nick's job. I have to tell you tho the weekend was so much drama that I can't stand it. My back has been killing me and my chiropractor is out of town until Wednesday. Saturday was an ugly morning so we decided to go to garage sales. Colleen, Scott, Nick, me and Marco. It was alot of fun. I got a few goodies for cheap. Marco changed my mood real fast when he told me that my sister texted him to tell him she is sending him and Sarah a bus ticket to come to her wedding. I was thinking in my head that is not happening. So what makes me the most angry is Marco gets mad at me and tells me I am being stupid about the situation. I have to listen to him complain how I am mean and won't let him go to his own aunt's wedding. I was trying to explain to him that I will not let my twins (15) get on a bus and go 3 hours away to a wedding. I don't trust her soon to be husband and I am not doing it. Besides the fact, I am not invited so I just don't think any of us should go. I texted her to tell her that they would not be coming and her response to me was I will call their dad and get his permission. I just don't understand any of this. She can't call me and talk to me like an adult but she can talk thru my kids. It just makes no sense. After I texted her that she was pretty much done talking to me. Sunday morning we got up and went to church, to lunch and then to visit my mom. Lately, I love going there and talking with all the older ladies. I help feed some of them and I enjoy it so much. It puts such a smile on their face to know someone is helping them. I just enjoy it!!!! As I was sitting there feeding Gerti and talking with my mom, my mom says Kim called me today and said your not invited to her wedding. I said yes mom I am not. She said you think she is bi-polar, I said mom I do think that. The point of this is my mom does not need to know any of this. She will sit and worry about it. She does not need that. As I have said before, I have alot of bad feelings towards my sister because she does not truly care about my mom. This behavior just reinforces the way I feel. I told my mom just don't pay attention to what she says because I don't want you sitting and worrying about it. Not to mention, my mom isn't even going to the wedding because my sister never took the time to arrange for her to be there. She just said it is too long of a drive. I would of made sure my mom would of been there if she would of taken the time to plan anything. It would of been hard but I could of pulled it off. Anyway, I get home and Dom says to me Aunt Kim texted me and wants to know if I have a graduation ticket for her. I was like OMG are you kidding me???? Dom said he does not want her there because she screwed him over too. She told him she wanted his quartet to play at her wedding so they went out and bought music, planned on going and then she said oh I hired a DJ. His feelings were hurt. I understand but there is nothing I can do. Then Marco says Aunt Kim texted me and I told her nobody was coming to her wedding if you weren't invited which is exactly what my uncles said. I lost it!!!! I said Marco why do you tell her stuff like that your just fueling the fire. Again, he is only 15 so why should he be involved in adult drama. I texted her told her to stop with the texts to my kids. They don't need this crap going on with them. Of course, her boyfriend had to text Marco and ask him how his day was going. I grabbed Marco's phone deleted both of their phone numbers and told him I don't want you to text them at all. I got out the laptop and made him delete them off of his Facebook and Myspace. I have just had enough I am done with this. Right or wrong I did what I felt I had to do. Not that I feel good about it because I don't.

This is the part I struggle with I am a Christian. I know God always forgives us for our sins. I know that we are supposed to be the same way with people in our life but does that mean we are supposed to keep letting them do this to us? That is the part I struggle with. I have prayed alot about this for some direction. I am trying to forgive her and in time I know I will. I still love her and always will but I just can't have this in my life. I feel like it is poison and it is disrupting to our house. Last night for the first time ever Nick grabbed my hands and prayed with me. It was amazing!!! I have been wanting to do that with him and it just happened. A new step in his faith. I loved it!!!!

I am sorry to be such a downer lately but this is what my blog is for to help me make sense of things once I see them in writing.

I hope everyone has a good Monday!