My dad

Today is my dad's birthday he would have been 67. He passed away 5 years ago and sometimes it seems like forever since I have heard his voice or seen him. My dad was kindest most sincere man I have ever known. I was the youngest and I was supposed to be the boy LOL. I am obviously a woman. My dad wanted a boy so badly but he got me instead. I turned out to be his tomboy. I was the loudest and full of piss and vinegar. My sister was the quieter one. When I was young I always knew how to push my dads buttons because I was so stubborn and never gave in and he would cave and give in to me. When I thought that he may be mad at me I would always follow him around and ask are you mad at me dad and his reply would be what did you do? My mom and dad divorced when I was only 6. There was never any explanation of why he was leaving he just said he was going to stay with my grandma. She only lived 2 miles from us so we seen him alot. He would pick us up in his convertible and take us for rides. I would stand on the back seat and put my arms around him as he drove. I know that sounds crazy now but back then you could do that. My dad was always giving us lectures instead of spankings. I used to think that I would rather have a spanking because his lectures lasted for hours. They were always about your morals, integrity and telling the truth. He always told us if you told the truth you wouldn't get in as much trouble as you would if you didn't. He taught me how to drive when was 11 and by 15 I was a driving pro. He respected woman like no other man I had ever seen. I respected him so much for the person he was. I looked up to him for advice and cherished what he said. He just always seems to know exactly what to say to comfort me.

My dad had got sick right after Christmas it seemed like a cold. It went into January and you know men they hate to go to drs. He finally went they said he had walking pneomonia, gave him medicine and told him to come back in 2 weeks. He was not getting any better with the medicine. When he went back in 2 weeks they said they wanted to do a cat scan. I knew then that there was something seriously wrong. I just had that sick feeling in my stomach. The day he got the results from his cat scan I had come home from work and Dom said papa called and he sounded weird. I knew then! I didn't call him back because I didn't want to hear what he had to say because I knew it was bad. He called back a few hours later and said hunny I got my results today I said I know dad and then he started to cry. I had never heard my dad cry before. He told me it was lung cancer that had went into his liver and hip. At that point I was hysterical and kept saying dad what am I gonna do without you? He then started to comfort me. I said dad I am supposed to be comforting you. He then said the words I have carried with me since he died. Hunny I am always gonna be with you! The prognosis was 6 months. He passed away 3 weeks later. He was 6 ' 4" and always thin. In what seemed like a week he went down to 125 pounds. It was horrible for him and us. He was strong man and never wanted to be taken care of and at this point he could not even get out of the chair. I WAS DEVASTATED! I hated seeing him that way so his passing so soon after he got sick was kinda a blessing. It is exactly the way he wanted it. He did not want us to see him like that or take care of him. When he died I was at peace with HIM there weren't any bad feelings and there never was I was just not ready to let go. I had no choice but to learn to live my life without him and it sucked. I was very resentful towards everyone. I still think of him every day in some way. I am sad for my kids. I am sad that he is never gonna see his grandson graduate. He would of been so proud. My neice just got engaged and he is not here to be proud of her. I know he is proud in heaven tho. We all just miss him alot.

So I will leave you with a picture that I took of a picture because my pictures I have of him are all before I had a digital and I don't have a scanner. The quality is not good but it is my dad! I am sorry if this post seems so sketchy but it is hard to put into words everything that I want to say about my dad.